Adrian Chiles “chopped half his willy off”

And the award for the weirdest news item I’ve ever had to write goes to…

TV presenter Adrian Chiles gave a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘half cut’ when he was 11 years old.

‘When I was 11 I fell off my bike and chopped half my willy off,’ he says. ‘They had to sew it back on.’

‘I was such a man I didn’t stay overnight,’ he tells Observer magazine. ‘It was the day of the cup final in 1978 and I wanted to get back and watch it.’

This goes a long way to explaining why he is posing with his hands THERE in this photo.

We can only apologise if you have any weird nightmares tonight.

In other kind of similar news Kim Marsh “nearly took off a nipple”