Cowell to quit Britain’s Got Talent over penguin-playing-pensioner?

Simon Cowell can’t face another year of Britain’s Got Talent… because Britain has run out of talent.

That’s right, SuBo, Diversity, George Sampson and Stavros Flatley are pretty much the best we have to offer as a nation.

So what pushed Simon over the edge? A 66-year-old woman using a hosepipe connected to a toy penguin as a musical instrument of course.

Simon told the audience of 3,000 people: “What the bloody hell? I am not going to be back next year.

“I am not kidding. I can’t do this anymore. I am 50 years old.”

Amanda Holden added: “This is not what this show is all about.”

Another act involving a horse and Shetland pony dancing to Michael Jackson’s hit Billie Jean didn’t impress.

An insider told The Sun: “Simon didn’t think the auditions could get any worse after Cardiff, but London proved they could. The run of contestants was dismal.

“The judges just hope that some talent emerges before they wrap up the auditions.”